Twililght Zone or Candid Camera.....you decide.

UPDATE:
So I spelled t-shiRt wrong.......thought about changing it, but since it has brought SOOOO much joy and laughter into your homes, I will leave it!! ha!ha!.......I probably subconciously spelled it that way on purpose due to the day I was having anyways:) Besides, by this time it has just become part of the post.......an original!! hee hee hee .......(and I guess spell check wouldn't have caught it since it IS a real word!!!!)

Let me indulge you in my day, and I WISH I were exaggerating here.
FIRST, I woke up this morning thinking it was Friday. Not good. Because on Fridays Ava doesn't have school. On THURSDAYS she does. Do you get where this is going? Luckily I figured it out (much to my dismay though..), and raced her to school only to be a couple minutes late.

On the way home I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror, and gasped in horror at the reflection. Obviously in my haste to get Ava to school, I neglected my own personal hygiene, which would include anything that had to do with a toothbrush, washcloth, or comb for heavens sake.
Then I started to get that real uneasy feeling as I slowly lowered my eyes to view my "clothing".....uh huh...pajama bottoms and t-shit, which wouldn't have been THAT bad......had I remembered to at least put a bra on........ "Dear Lord, PLEASE don't let me get pulled over right now......PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!" And what in the world did the car pool lady think??
I made it home. Without getting pulled over. But this is only a fraction of my day thus far.


I THEN decided that I would be all Betty Crocker and all, and make dinner in the crock pot for tonight. I had some frozen chicken in the freezer, so I got it out and started running hot water over it to "loosen" it up and throw in the pot.

Now, why in the world do they put those nasty white styrofoam/paper things on the bottom of chicken breasts? I absolutely can't stand those things, and they almost make me throw up every time I cook chicken (which is not that often mainly because of those darn chicken breast maxi pads). Anyways, pulling them off of frozen chicken is unspeakable and nobody should ever have to be subjected to do so.

I put some cream of chicken and salt and pepper in, and thought I would add a "little" fresh garlic. OKAY PEOPLE.......I must have added a bit too much, because I now can't even open my eyes in my own house due to the garlic fumes. I am currently typing in the way opposite end of the house from the kitchen.
I seriously have zero cooking talents. I should just stick to what I know best, like supporting my A.D.D. habit or something.


Crisis Numero Three. Because I decided to cook, clean, shower, AND check facebook, all before the witching hour of noon when I needed to get Ava, I was running a bit late. I jumped in my van( which by the way my sister in law thinks I'm too sexy for my mini van....but what she doesn't see is the LOOKS I get while driving that bad boy!!.....of course it just occurred to me that those looks might be due to my lack of discretion with my appearance as I drive around......and now that I'm thinking about these looks, they really aren't "come to me baby" looks.....more like "what asylum did you escape from, and please don't come near my children"looks................:), and grrrrrr......grrrrrrrrr.....whirrrrrrrrr.....whirrrrrrr......IT WOULDN'T START!!!! Pure panic set in, because I was already late, and there was no way to get Ava.

I ran across the street to my neighbors house, and start banging on the door. Her blinds and windows were all wide open, so I peer through the blinds on the front door. Big mistake. She's vacuuming naked. Yep! middle of the day...cleaning....no clothes on. Okay, I seriously didn't have time for this, and WHO does this anyways?..... At this point, I am looking around for hidden cameras or something......I mean FOR REAL??????? The sad answer to that is yes, but that in and of itself is a whole other post.

I awkwardly and impatiently await an answer at the door (because HELLO, she couldn't hear the door due to the vaccuum). Her 3 year old daughter finally answers wearing a WOOL turtle neck sweater. Now I KNOW I have just entered the twilight zone or something. I mean her mom is el commando....and she is in wool. And I thought OUR family had issues. Oh, and it's only ninety something degrees out.........


Anyways, I ask to borrow her van so that I can go get Ava. To which she obliges. When I get to school (and of course Ava is last in the class to get picked up.....), I was walking back out to the car and realized that I had no car seat for Ava due to the fact that little wool wearing sweater girl apparently was part of the deal of letting me borrow the car, and she came WITH the car. SHE was in the one and only carseat. UUGGGHHHHHHH......... Luckily a teacher was walking behind me as I came to this realization, and she had an extra car seat in her car that she let me borrow.

We arrived home, and there to meet me was Craig and his coworker Moses (yes, his name is Moses....moving on now...). They were there to jump the car and go get a battery for it. When they returned, Moses opened the garage door, and Lilly (our dog) barked so loud that it scared me, causing me to drop the entire crate of eggs that I was putting away in the refridgerator. Eggs spilled down the shelves of the fridge, and ALL over the floor.
C'mon people!! At this point, I was about to call it a day and lock myself in my room.

Oh, this ALL happened before one oclock this afternoon. So tell me......when does Candid Camera finally come out of the bushes and yell GOTCHA???????