NO! No you ditint!......Oh YES I did.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 |

Ummmmmmmmm, so I lied. I said below, BEFORE "THE SHOWER", that I was done blogging for the night, and that I would see you tomorrow. BUT then SOMETHING happened. And I NEED to blog about this......I MUST get some moral support here, and some advice on how I can ever show my face again in my neighborhood.
It all started when....(cue the smoke and dreamlike thoughts....) I went upstairs to FINALLY take a shower after my very sweaty workout this afternoon (by the time I got home, it was time to get dinner ready, get the kids bathed and to bed, so it was 9:00 before I even made it to the shower!).

Please do not ask me what in the world got into me, but for some reason instead of just taking my usual short, very to the point shower, I decided that tonight I would take my time and lolligag in the hot water. Now, I've always hated the design of my bathroom, because you can see yourself in the mirror while you shower! (who in the world would want that?) But tonight for some stupid reason, I decided to take a peak to see if all this exercising crap business was doing me any good. So I did. And boy did I start examining. I was flexing. I was bending. I was turning in every which way. I was lifting things that I am sure God never really intended on having to be lifted in order to view other things.

And then I saw them. My blinds. O.P.E.N. ........FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!!!.........I screamed so loud my dog started barking. We NEVER have our bedroom blinds open! NEVER EVER....EVER!! ( I guess this would be a good place to add that you can see straight through our bedroom right into the shower from the window...and with it being dark outside, and lit up like a Christmas tree in my room.......well, you get the drift) Sheer panic set in which is the only explanation I can come up with for what happened next. I TORE out of the shower running and dripping towards the window, only to halt in complete horror as I realized what I was doing. Running naked....TOWARDS the open window. I froze. Now people, when I say froze, I mean froze. Could. Not. Move. In that moment I saw the couple that lives across the street from us walking their little white dog ( I briefly thought about waving, forgetting about my predicament.....darn A.D.D). I realized that if I now turned around and ran BACK to the bathroom, my rear end would be exposed as well. So I hesitantly decided that if I dove towards the window I could maybe slam into the blinds causing them to close. Obviously I didn't think this through to the end and instead just went for it.

Dive? Did I say I was going to dive towards the window? Yeah, body slam would be a much more accurate description of what actually happened. Apparently in my quick decision making I didn't account for all of the decorative pillows from my bed that were lying on the floor in my path. So, OF COURSE I tripped over them, and seriously slammed myself into the windows. When I regained conscientious again, I was laying on the floor in front of my windows still dripping wet. And of course still naked (this would have been a great opportunity for God to have miraculously clothed me, but he sooooo didn't). Blinds still wide open. For all of God's beautiful earth to see.

I am going to KILL Craig for opening those ding dang blinds! Why in the name of all things beautiful would he do that? He's lucky I didn't actually go THROUGH the window when I hit it!! (Now THAT would have been a sight........)

So, I'm begging for some reassurance here.....SURELY no one saw right? I mean I was just IMAGINING my neighbors with the little white dog looking up at my window right? And if I was only imagining them being there, then SURELY I didn't REALLY see them nod their heads and wave at me right? I mean surely these things didn't happen. Surely.

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  • BethAnne

    I am thinking that if your neighbors DID ACTUALLY see you diving nekkid toward the window, they would not be the least bit surprised....I mean your neighbor vacuums in the nude, at least you were taking a shower!!!
    I say dont worry about it since you live in something close to a nudist colony anyway.

  • Heidi

    Ok, first I have to wipe away the tears and yell at you for ruining my makeup at 8:30am from laughing. I say, let 'em look. All that working out is paying off & you are just one hot mama. Let 'em stare, you might just have a whole group out there tonight. A whole Peeping Neighborhood party. Just for you.

  • Rachel


    I'm not brave enough to share my own "nude for the neighborhood" story yet, but thanks for the laughs!

    I for one am glad you returned to share the story so that we could have some much-needed mirth to start the day.

    I'm sure you're looking mucho caliente - so no worries! :)

    (uh, yeah - hubby would be MAJORLY in the doghouse for a bit!)

  • P.S.He loves you..

    you know when they say "if youv'e got it flaut it"..that's just a saying.

    LOL! Thanks for the laugh!

  • Mr. Daddy

    I'm sure that I should not even be considering commenting on this post..PERIOD!!

    But as I have stated before our willingness to humiliate and embarrASS ourselves knows no bounds.. ROFL!

    and as much trouble as I got into just mentioning another womens toes on another posted comment. and if the skin to skin ratio between the toe blog and yours, is any guideline as to the state of my domestic tranquility, and if I was a wise man I would stop right here..

    But hey: a guy's gotta do what a guys's gotta do.

    Rach..know that I love you, and there is no other for me but you babe..
    and I should be poking my minds eye out, right here and now. But in my own defense,, come on now!!!the visuals created here are just to darn entertaining!!

    So forgive me babe but I just have to GUFFAW, HICCUP, WHEEZE,GASP AND GIGGLE,

    Hopefully right along with you..

    thanks Hiedi for a hilarious read.

    P.S. Rach's mood ring hasn't turned my forehead red yet, so maybe it will be ok :o)

  • Lindsay-ann

    I just hope they are both short sighted and were not wearing their glasses!!!
    You made me giggle.
    My mother in law went on a cruise and she was so used to getting dried in the cabin rather than the tiny bathroom. She never bothered closing her blinds because there was just sea out there. On the final morning she was getting dried and suddenly saw a man waving at her sitting on a crane. They were in the dock and she never realised!! She was so embarrased.

  • Shelley Hendrix

    :-O I love you Heidi. And I love the posts from the other comments. You all are hilarious. I'm really glad I haven't put any make up on yet today because I have all kinds of ugliness running down my face from all the laughing. You, my friend, are good medicine. Keep on embarrassing yourself and spreading the joy for all of us to share with you. Your reward in heaven will be great! :-)

  • Anonymous

    LOL. Again, you are too funny. I love your posts! I am sure nobody saw you. I know it is hard to believe that but nobody probably did. :-)

  • Cinnamon*Sticks Boutique

    Oh Heidi!!!! I really think your blog is my favorite (shhh don't tell my other blogging buddies!)
    When ever I am having a rough day I come over here and have a good chuckle, with the sincerest love and empathy of course. ;o)

    When your all dressed stop on by I'm having a big giveaway

  • He And Me + 3

    Oh my, thta is just hysterical! First question...what are two old people doing out so late walking a dog? Shouldn't they be in bed resting their eyes so they can see naked people standing in front of their open blinds.? I am still cracking up about the flexing!

  • Anonymous

    I don't think anything I write will convey to you exactly how funny that all was for me... Sammo is getting very concerned about me laughing myself silly while I'm on the 'puter!!!

    You wrote "conscientious" instead of... well, some other word, but I don't want to be seen as picky(!!)... and it gave me an extra giggle, 'cause that means "diligent and scrupulous"!!!;). HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

    Heidi, you are, by everyone's standard, I'm sure, the funniest girl God's put breath into. And no never mind them neighbours of yours... you're just going along fitting in fine... You never know, with the fact that it was all so quick, they may very well have been wearing 'his and hers' clothing... you'll never know... just like they're probably saying... "Was that Heidi? Naked?... We'll never know..."

    Love ya!

  • TUTU Monkey

    so funny...thanks for the laugh today!! :)

  • Cindy

    Your life is like a sitcom! You are a mess! Thanks for the giggle.

  • Heidi

    That was so funny. I feel so bad for you. I am sure that your neighbors didn't notice...that's your story and you're sticking to it!

  • Vanessa

    I am one of Jeanette Cooks friends and she told me about your blog so I decided to read it today. I am in stiches. I will be adding you to my blogroll. :)

  • Dana-from chaos to Grace

    Note to self: DON'T read this blog at 6 in the morning. The laughing will wake up husband. ;)

    Oh yes....been there done that. But MY brilliant idea was to immediately drop to the floor, army-style. But when you are thirty something years old and had 3 babies, and haven't done all that work out I mean BUSINESS...there's no army crawling to the window. I just ended up laying there and then out of sheer frustration, just crabbed a blanket and got up. HAAAAAAAA!

  • Cheffie-Mom

    You are hilarious!! Thank you for making me laugh. LOL! LOL!

  • Connie

    Ok Heidi...I have been busy with grandbaby #3 and just had a few minutes to check in to see what you are up to and of course you are always making me laugh. I feel your pain...Our bathroom is upstairs and if you close the blinds with the slats night you can still see I don't know how many people have seen me half naked brushing my teeth etc. before I figured that out...they probably didn't see just keep that thought and go about your business. Love your craziness...and now you really make it difficult to update my blog...because my life is not as interesting as so many others...thanks for the laugh. Connie

  • heidi

    Oh for the love of pete.

    That was too funny! LOL