So I voted today. NOT without drama of course, but I voted nonetheless.
I picked up my neighbor Jackie at 9:15 this morning, leaving my children at her house with her husband while we voted.
The good news? We were back in the car headed home by 9:35. The bad news? It would have been sooner than that had I actually voted FOR THE RIGHT CANDIDATE the first time!!
You see, I wanted to vote straight republican and thought that I could just push one button for that instead of having to cast my vote separately for each race. I asked Jackie (who was in the booth next to me) if that was possible. She thought I was joking, laughed, and said "just make sure you vote RIGHT". So I did. I punched everything on the right side, and when it came time to review my ballot, there staring me in the face was OBAMINATION as my pick for president. What the???? CLEARLY the place was rigged. But,before I "took this to the authorities", and accused all of ______ county of being fraudulent, I thought I would just MAKE SURE this was not an "operator error" (though I was quite convinced that FOR ONCE I was not being dramatic). Imagine my surprise when I realized that Jackie didn't actually mean "check everything on the right", but because she KNOWS me, and KNOWS that there would be a HUGE chance for error, she was simply telling me to vote the RIGHT way!!!! (OOHHHH.....That made much more sense!)
Luckily I had not pressed "CAST BALLOT" yet, so I was able to START OVER, and actually READ the choices and pick my republican homies one by one. (Just for the record though, I still think there should be ONE button for each party if you would like to vote that way......it would be MUCH EASIER and FASTER....I'm just sayin')
So after we voted...(the RIGHT way), we realized that Derwin (Jackie's husband) had NO idea that it only took us 11 minutes to vote, and for all he knew we were still standing in line. What were two
dingbats wild and crazy girls supposed to do??? Go home and relieve him of the six children? Nah.......we were going to go get some free coffee that WE WERE TOLD Starbucks was offering if we showed them our voting stickers. Until we realized that neither of us really liked coffee. JACKIE then said that Chik filet was offering the same deal by giving out free sandwiches if you showed them your voting sticker. Great! We would drive to Chik filet, get free sandwiches, and bring lunch home for everyone.
Ummmm, MOST things that sound too good to be true......ARE. Here's my conversation with the lady behind the speaker in the drive through:
LADY: "May I take your order?" ME: "Yes, we would like seven Chik filet sandwiches and we have voting stickers for four of them" LADY: "You have what for them?" ME:"Voting stickers" .....looooooong pause........ LADY: "WHAT are you voting for?" ME:"No, I already voted, and now I have my stickers!" (c'mon, give me my FREE sandwiches, and let's get on with it!?:) Lady:"stickers? Do you mean coupons?" (ummm, NO, I KNOW the difference between a sticker and a coupon!! DUH!!) ME: "NO, I mean voting stickers. I JUST voted, and now I'm here to get my free sandwiches." LADY: "Hold on, I am going to have to get my manager" At this point, I was STILL thinking that the employee was again CLEARLY the one uninformed on the whole situation, and it would only be a matter of time before I received my FREE sandwiches. Jackie was beginning to read between the lines though (I love my smart friends), and she prompted me to just ask if they were giving anything away for voting, instead of going through the whole scenario again with the manager. The manager got on the speaker, and said : "Maam, can I help you?" ME: "Are you giving anything away for voting today?" Silence. ..........ME: "Hello? We heard that you were giving out free sandwiches for voting" Manager : "That is INCORRECT information Maam" ME: "OOPS! Sorry!" We drove off WITHOUT ordering anything.
GEEZ, it's a GOOD thing someone didn't tell me Chevrolet was giving away cars for voting!! Can you imagine THAT conversation?? "I was told that if I voted......." Yeah that would be kind of funny! (Though now that I'm thinking about it, I'm sure Obamination wouldn't be above telling such a lie........I mean he's told so many thus far............)
Unfortunately the drama was not QUITE over for the day. We realized that we now HAD to bring lunch home, and so far we were empty handed since our journey for free items ended up being less than fruitless. (I still don't know if ANY of these companies were offering free things or not.......or if someone was just screwin' with us.....) Jackie wanted Sonic, so that's where we went. When the rollerskating waitress brought out our food, I rolled down my window to get it. I handed Jackie the bags of food, and I held on to the drink tray. While she was checking the bags, I turned my head to roll up the window. When I tried to turn back around, I almost snapped my neck off!!! I had rolled my hair up in the window!!!! My entire face crashed into the window, the drinks went flying, and I went numb trying to figure out what had just happened. I also lost an unmentionable amount of hair.
To say that we have laughed until our stomachs hurt today is the biggest understatement of the year!!! Voting day is my new favorite day of the year......or at least every four years. I can't wait until 2012 to do it all over again!! With Jackie of course!
How did your voting go today???