My new favorite Day!!!!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008 |

So I voted today. NOT without drama of course, but I voted nonetheless.
I picked up my neighbor Jackie at 9:15 this morning, leaving my children at her house with her husband while we voted.
The good news? We were back in the car headed home by 9:35. The bad news? It would have been sooner than that had I actually voted FOR THE RIGHT CANDIDATE the first time!!

You see, I wanted to vote straight republican and thought that I could just push one button for that instead of having to cast my vote separately for each race. I asked Jackie (who was in the booth next to me) if that was possible. She thought I was joking, laughed, and said "just make sure you vote RIGHT". So I did. I punched everything on the right side, and when it came time to review my ballot, there staring me in the face was OBAMINATION as my pick for president. What the???? CLEARLY the place was rigged. But,before I "took this to the authorities", and accused all of ______ county of being fraudulent, I thought I would just MAKE SURE this was not an "operator error" (though I was quite convinced that FOR ONCE I was not being dramatic). Imagine my surprise when I realized that Jackie didn't actually mean "check everything on the right", but because she KNOWS me, and KNOWS that there would be a HUGE chance for error, she was simply telling me to vote the RIGHT way!!!! (OOHHHH.....That made much more sense!)
Luckily I had not pressed "CAST BALLOT" yet, so I was able to START OVER, and actually READ the choices and pick my republican homies one by one. (Just for the record though, I still think there should be ONE button for each party if you would like to vote that would be MUCH EASIER and FASTER....I'm just sayin')

So after we voted...(the RIGHT way), we realized that Derwin (Jackie's husband) had NO idea that it only took us 11 minutes to vote, and for all he knew we were still standing in line. What were two dingbats wild and crazy girls supposed to do??? Go home and relieve him of the six children? Nah.......we were going to go get some free coffee that WE WERE TOLD Starbucks was offering if we showed them our voting stickers. Until we realized that neither of us really liked coffee. JACKIE then said that Chik filet was offering the same deal by giving out free sandwiches if you showed them your voting sticker. Great! We would drive to Chik filet, get free sandwiches, and bring lunch home for everyone.

Ummmm, MOST things that sound too good to be true......ARE. Here's my conversation with the lady behind the speaker in the drive through:

LADY: "May I take your order?" ME: "Yes, we would like seven Chik filet sandwiches and we have voting stickers for four of them" LADY: "You have what for them?" ME:"Voting stickers" .....looooooong pause........ LADY: "WHAT are you voting for?" ME:"No, I already voted, and now I have my stickers!" (c'mon, give me my FREE sandwiches, and let's get on with it!?:) Lady:"stickers? Do you mean coupons?" (ummm, NO, I KNOW the difference between a sticker and a coupon!! DUH!!) ME: "NO, I mean voting stickers. I JUST voted, and now I'm here to get my free sandwiches." LADY: "Hold on, I am going to have to get my manager" At this point, I was STILL thinking that the employee was again CLEARLY the one uninformed on the whole situation, and it would only be a matter of time before I received my FREE sandwiches. Jackie was beginning to read between the lines though (I love my smart friends), and she prompted me to just ask if they were giving anything away for voting, instead of going through the whole scenario again with the manager. The manager got on the speaker, and said : "Maam, can I help you?" ME: "Are you giving anything away for voting today?" Silence. ..........ME: "Hello? We heard that you were giving out free sandwiches for voting" Manager : "That is INCORRECT information Maam" ME: "OOPS! Sorry!" We drove off WITHOUT ordering anything.

GEEZ, it's a GOOD thing someone didn't tell me Chevrolet was giving away cars for voting!! Can you imagine THAT conversation?? "I was told that if I voted......." Yeah that would be kind of funny! (Though now that I'm thinking about it, I'm sure Obamination wouldn't be above telling such a lie........I mean he's told so many thus far............)

Unfortunately the drama was not QUITE over for the day. We realized that we now HAD to bring lunch home, and so far we were empty handed since our journey for free items ended up being less than fruitless. (I still don't know if ANY of these companies were offering free things or not.......or if someone was just screwin' with us.....) Jackie wanted Sonic, so that's where we went. When the rollerskating waitress brought out our food, I rolled down my window to get it. I handed Jackie the bags of food, and I held on to the drink tray. While she was checking the bags, I turned my head to roll up the window. When I tried to turn back around, I almost snapped my neck off!!! I had rolled my hair up in the window!!!! My entire face crashed into the window, the drinks went flying, and I went numb trying to figure out what had just happened. I also lost an unmentionable amount of hair.

To say that we have laughed until our stomachs hurt today is the biggest understatement of the year!!! Voting day is my new favorite day of the year......or at least every four years. I can't wait until 2012 to do it all over again!! With Jackie of course!

How did your voting go today???

    Subscribe Via Feed Subscribe to Technorati Subscribe to Google Subscribe to Yahoo! Subscribe to Blogmarks


  • Rachel

    I would have loved to have some drama on voting day! I sent mine in early and am praying on those (Republican) results!

    You crack me up! :)

  • He And Me + 3

    OMGosh...You are so funny! What a day! I am still busting a gut about the hair in the window. Good Gravy, you sound like Lucy and Ethel. I just took the two girls with me to vote and we were in and out in 15 minutes. Nothing spectacular like you! Although, I did get my free coffee...

  • P.S. He loves you..

    uhmm..well not so exciting as yours I'd say!

    How funny!

    I walked in and walked out with my two toddlers and I didn't get the privo of an electric ballot.

    Then I went to pick son and got a funny movie which I should be watching now instead I'm waiting for hubs to get off phone so I can stop watching the insanity of it all...If the bad guy wins..I'll remember whose still in charge!

  • "Doe" The Female Deare

    Between your husband attempting to be romantic and you rolling up the window on your hair... well, you may be bald in your early years! I borrowed one of your pictures to post on my blog today. Check it out.

  • BethAnne

    I would have expected nothing less than a little election day drama from you girl!

    I knew about Starbucks, but didnt hear the Chick-fil-a thing...matter of fact the hubs brought us chick-fil-a for lunch and it was not free....too bad.

    I am watching the results come in and it aint looking good so far.....I am afraid America may just get what she deserves (and what she asked for).

  • Sandi Hixson

    leave it to you dear daughter to find drama even in voting!
    well, at least it gave me a laugh.....since the BAD news thus far for election results has completely depressed my opinion, if BO is a black, dark day for pun intended....i agree with Bethanne.......God help us!

  • amy

    Heidi, you have to be one of the most accident prone people out there..but you sure are funny. And we love you anyway. :)

  • TUTU Monkey

    You are too funny......I am feeling sad for our country tonight. :(

  • Scrapper Mom

    Never a dull moment with you.

  • Anonymous

    OMGness! I have the hiccups after reading about the hair episode. Sammo came over to me at the computer 'cause I was hunched over and shaking from laughter, and he's says, "Don't cry Mums. You otay..." Dear sweet child! I had to tell him I was laughing at something really funny, and he says in such a questioning ('hah?!) tone "On the 'puter?!!". Yes! Only with you though Heidi, only with you...

  • Lindsay-ann

    Voting? Pushing buttons? It all sounds very technical! In England we get a piece of paper and put a cross next to the one we want. It may sound primitive but you can't go far wrong. On second thoughts you probably could Heidi!!!
    Sorry to hear about the car window/scalping incident. I once shut my finger completely in the car door. The only problem was I had locked the door from the inside before I shut it so there was no way I could open the door to get my finger out. My husband was half a mile away buying a parking ticket with the keys when he heard me yelling!!!

  • PamperingBeki


    My voting day went surprisingly well. I mean I fought with my toddler all day and cried quite a few times, thought about driving him to Nebraska and leaving him, but all in all it was a fine day.

  • Anonymous

    You crack me up! My voting did not go well. I didn't even get to vote actaully! I have moved three times since the last election so I was not sure where I was registered. I went to the town I thought I was registered in and they did not have my name. Then it was too late to head to the other two towns because I had to pick my son up from day care....

  • BethAnne

    What!? No "Happy Birthday to ME" post???? I thought for sure i would come here to read a story about your birthday.........

  • Jennifer

    Electric voting machines! Oh my goodness aren't you all in the fancy smancy voting area. ROFL

    We have to use good ole' bic pens to bubble in our choices. Which I have to say I was dismayed at the results. But I pray that God keeps us safe under our new 'leadership'.

  • Anonymous

    you crack me up!

  • heidi

    Oh my WORD! LOL You can't win again....stop trying!

  • Mr. Daddy

    I loved your post, although my day was not quite as enlightening as yours seemed to be.

    first off Rach and I voted by mail in ballot, and she was there with me all the way. (No dear we hold the pen like this, yes thats it hon very good job.) "O good grief" you fill in the dots not connect them.....We eventually got it right, LOL and mailed them, and proceeded to wait..
    and wait.. and wait.."as you may be able to tell I was kinda excited to get it done early"

    I think that I was under this delusional idea that if I got it done fast and early it might influence the count,(not sure where that misconcieved idea came from).

    Well election day finally arrived. with all of its dismal newscasts. and the usual liberal reporting, that enlightens no one and is about as fun and entertaining as the bubonic plague.

    As the day wore on and the closer to the polls closing, the gloom and sadness and dispair started encroaching. It's not that I am a staunch McCain supporter, as it is that I so strongly react to Obomination.

    And I thought to myself, "SELF" you need a fix, (Yea) A fix, Now you have to understand that in my circles I'm usually known as a 3 beer man: I drink one, I spill one, and I give one away... and we had no good prescription drugs in the house, and the hard liquor consisted of one 'old' bottle of cooking wine, and as I work for a law enforcement agency I am forbidden to take illegal substances. I was in very dire straits..

    and as my Gorgeous wife was almost as depressed as myself, a romantic tryst was almost certainly out of the question. Looking back on it now I probably should have persued that option a little more diligently.

    As it was I had this blinding stroke of genius, or so it seemed at the time....

    Some time ago I had read on a blog that: and I quote. sometimes you have to eat all the chocolate at once... Now in my innocence, (one could insert ignorance here quite readily). I had no idea what Melody @ slurping life was talking about. The rest of the post was SO good, and then that one statement, OMG. such confusion.

    Well like the brave Macho neanderthal type I am, I put it on a post. And Stacy @ Land of K. A. Valiantly came to my aid. and said that there was something in the chocolate that spiked the feminine genders endorphins and gave them the euphoric feelings of very successful encounter with their romantically challenged spouses. and suggested I google it.

    with Rach's loving support and permission I hesitantly googled chocolate S@x!!!!!!

    I had found my FIX....

    After 5 super sized Butterfingers and a couple of Ghiradelli's chocolate bars..

    I was in proverbial bliss..
    I'm not sure if it was suppose to work that way for me. or in my male macho style I was mistaking my bloated and distended and aching belly, for bliss. But hey!!
    I had totally forgotten about the liberal press, the gloomy outlook of the election. and started working my way back to a more positive outlook (thanks to the peptol bismol) and a happier day.

    So if things are looking glum, grab a chocolate bar!!!

    Or maybe just have a nice night with your hubby.

  • Mr. Daddy

    "O" yea, I thought that I read somewhere: if you just say, Hey you want a piece of me really puts him in the mood?????

  • Hollie

    i'm thinking you need to start taking a video camera along for everyone's enjoyment! You could even send it into America's funniest home videos!!

  • Anonymous

    Now can you guys see why I have aged well beyond my years and my hair is turning grey. One heart attack after another!

  • Carol

    Well my voting day was no where as interesting as you. But hey how come I live in the heart of the computer chip and all things computers and we still get paper ballets.

    As I was reading your blogging crying and laughing so hard I was weasing, my hubs came out and said I'm not so sure that ladies blog is safe for you to read. I tried to read him the sonic episode but I couldn't get through reading it out loud.

    Then I kept reading down to the post of your twin sista, I can't read any more I'm to tired from the laughter. Does this burn calories?

    Love your blog, you are just too fun.


  • YaYa's Funhouse

    gurl! you are just not right!!
    My voting day was uneventful. It just didn't turn out like I had hoped.

  • David, Tammy, Megan and Hobbes

    Uh, we voted my mail. You should try it next time... Much less likely to end up with hair trauma or any other kind of trauma...

  • Mrs B

    I know this is late but...I DID get a free sandwich from Chick-fil-A for Voting...also Krisy Kreme and Ben and Jerrys where giving away freebies...

    Love your funny! :)