It's ALL Facebook's fault!!

Thursday, December 4, 2008 |

Okay, as I stated below I have once again "DONE IT". First of all, obviously I have been in a major blogging funk lately and last night I decided to sit down and at least START a post with a few updates. So, I did start one, and saved it to be finished today. BUT then today took a disastrous turn and I will instead blog about that.

Now, I know that most of my "incidents" involve some sort of nudity or nekkidness, and trust me, nobody is more appalled than I am about that small factor. More than that, I don't know why it keeps happening. I mean, seriously, I don't.
Having cleared that up (or at least addressing it), I will tell you what happened today.

This morning when I went to get dressed, I realized that all of my workout clothes were dirty, and needed to be washed (If I am going to be working out that day, that's what I put on in the morning instead of "regular" clothes). So I threw on a pair of jeans and took the clothes down to be washed.

Okay, fast forward to almost time to leave for the gym. I went into the laundry room to get my clothes out of the dryer. I took off my jeans and started to put on my workout pants only to realize that they were still damp. The shirt however was dry, so I put that on and threw the pants back in the dryer. Because I was in a little bit of a hurry I put my socks and tennis shoes on so that all I had to do was put on my pants when they were done. So here I am in the PRIVACY of my kitchen in my socks,tennis shoes, underwear, and my workout shirt. Yeah......You can almost SMELL the disaster coming can't ya????

I sat down to WORK ON MY POST and ended up on facebook getting all wrapped up in my stalking obsession. After about fifteen minutes, the doorbell rang. I peeked around the corner, and saw through the window the UPS truck out front. Without ANY hesitation AT ALL......, I blissfully walked to the door completely oblivious to the fact that I was missing my pants (I mean c'mon, I had SHOES on for cryin' out loud....who wears shoes without pants???....).

You're waiting with holded breath for me to realize that I was pantless before I opened the door aren't you?? Well, be prepared to be disappointed.......or appalled for that matter. I SWUNG open the door and said hello to the driver (still oblivious to no pants....). (Okay, even in HINDSIGHT I still can't recall this poor man even looking at me weird.....I really can't. I mean, I GUESS looking back he may have seemed a little rushed, but I'm not even SURE about that.) I proceeded to take the clipboard from him and scribbled my signature.....still oblivious. I thanked him, and told him to have a nice day, and he left. OH, and don't THINK I wouldn't have waived at a neighbor if I had seen one. I probably would have struck up a conversation too. Of course still being oblivious to my BARE legs that is.

I closed the door and went back to my computer. It was THEN, that my world as I knew it collapsed in an instant of shock and horror. For as I sat down on my COLD leather chair, something went TERRIBLY wrong. Why could my LEGS feel the coolness of the leather so distinctively?????? I froze, and refused to look down. I was trying to wrap my brain around what I had in that moment just realized. When I finally (well, it seemed like a long time anyways...) looked down, I just started screaming......LOUD. My dog jumped off the stairs and started barking like crazy. I scared her to death!! I mean, WHAT kind of self respecting girl opens the door without her pants on??

I have been trying to tell myself that I dreamed this, but the box that was delivered is my constant reminder that OH YEAH, I had a conversation with the UPS guy while wearing nothing on the bottom half of me. (okay, this part might sound quite shallow (if shallowness is even POSSIBLE in this situation), but I wish I would have AT LEAST had my shoes and socks off too!! I pants, but don't worry, I had my socks and shoes on!!!????? That's even MORE embarrassing....actually that goes past embarrassing straight to PURE DORK!) The visual is so frightening I can barely think about it.

I am now contemplating moving to another country.....maybe a nudist colony.......I don't know, but what I DO know is that I NEED HELP!! What in the WORLD is wrong with me?? Oh, and here's the and UPS man are going to be seeing a lot (no pun intended) of eachother this month. I have been doing ALL of my shopping online, and will probably be having stuff delivered daily...........OMG, just writing that I am turning several shades of red! Somebody HELP ME!!!!

    Subscribe Via Feed Subscribe to Technorati Subscribe to Google Subscribe to Yahoo! Subscribe to Blogmarks


  • YaYa's Funhouse

    Welcome back Heidi, boy did I need this laugh!!!

  • P.S.He loves you..

    So glad to hear your still alive and well half the time dressed!

    Next time..just wink at the UPS driver..but hey if someone else shows up ..then you know he could be good though just for now on when you hear the door bell..think "pants" I'm sure you will for the rest of your life!

    lol thanks for the laugh!

    LOLOLOLOLOL...your word verication says ding

  • Sandi Hixson

    oh my goodness....i have laughed so hard my innards are aching without relief!...i have been laughing that kind of laugh that kind of sounds like i am in labor, about to give an ELEPHANT no kidding........or perhaps a better explanation to describe my laughter would be for you to visualize a COW......who is MOOING and bellowing loudly,
    i am drying my tears.....
    and actually, i don't think i will EVER again claim to be your mother......since you are officially a part of the NEKKID has just happened way too many times for you to claim it as accidental....
    but i love you anyway.....
    but i am NOT your mother....

  • Rachel

    Oh come on... you were gonna give us some tame post for your comeback one??? You were just asking for trouble with that one, eh?

    I loved it! Thanks so much for rejoining the blog world and giving us all some much-needed hilarity! :)

  • a boy a girl and a pug

    oh dying laughing now. thanks for the laugh :-)

  • carroll

    OH MY GOODNESS!!! I just laughed SO HARD!!!!!!

  • Heidi

    I really wish everyone wasn't asleep. I think I hurt myself trying to laugh without waking them all up. Your stories are priceless.

  • heidi

    Oh-Em-Gee. I am DYING over here. TEARS rolling down my face. HEIDI! LOL I saw it coming and I was like "No..tell m eyou didn't...c'mon didn't?" Then, when you did I yelled "You did NOT!"

    Oh man....*phew* I've had a long couple of days..thanks for that. sorry to laugh at your misfortune but I'll just assume you WANTED me to.

  • heidi

    HA! Rob (my beloved) said "What can Brown do for her?"


  • Anonymous

    Oh, please laugh at that with the rest of us. That surely would not have been the oddest thing that man would have ever seen after all his knocks on doors! If his expression never changed, then rest assured he didn't notice a thing... they never do...;)

  • Josh

    The funny thing is that every single person that works at that UPS location has heard from this guy about the woman in her panties. Haha.

  • Heidi

    You know, guys are stupid, maybe he thinks it's the new style? Or not...

  • Jennifer

    I don't know how you do it, really! I guess the good thing is this time of year the UPS guy is probably focused on boxes and not briefs! LOL

    Great to have you back! See you in FB land too.

  • Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family)

    Girl, you are so silly! You'll know the next time you get a package if the UPS guy realized...LOL!

  • Christy

    HEIDI! That's great!! Too funny...makes me miss you!! :)

  • He And Me + 3

    OMGosh, that is so funny, I can totally feel the pain about wanting to atleast then have the shoes and socks off. On a bright note, maybe he just thought you had on some Daisy Dukes...under that shirt. Let's hope:)
    I am busting up! Thanks for the laugh!

  • Sandi Hixson

    i gotta say

  • Cinnamon*Sticks Boutique

    Ohhh Heidi!!!!
    Well I have to tell you that you are not alone in this...I did this once with the post lady. I was so sleep deprived with a new baby I answered the door in my night shirt once. Though thank goodness it did cover my bum, just barely.
    Have fun receiving packages this month ;o)

  • Lindsay-ann

    Hi Heidi
    This is even funnier for me reading in England because pants have a different meaning over here. In England pants are knickers/briefs/thongs/underwear so to me it read as if you were wearing nothing at all below the waist.
    I am glad you are back blogging. I have missed you.
    Have a great weekend.

  • Patricia

    Way to come back Heidi! See, the pep talk from the other night worked!! Life is back to normal in the blog world. I always heard stories on the radio of UPS guys encountering all sorts of weirdness on house calls, but I figured "some people". Now I know you and you make every story believable. A pharmacy full of pill-making cannot outdo you!

  • ShortOne

    well, as someone who has become addicted to facebook too, I can so see how this could happen!

  • Carol

    Well I've been off the blogg land for a bit, and hadn't stopped by. I had bronchitis and just new if I stopped in one of your post my actually make me laugh to death.

    Oh my we need to get you a robe. But having a facebook addiction myself I totally get the distraction.

    And on a side note, I have had similar incidents in our bathrooms with the window. We have large windows I mean large and they are right in front of the toliet, and face right into my neighbors bedroom. Can't tell you how many times I've run in to p. and not until my pants and undies are around my knees did I realize that my dh decided today was the day to open the windows of the bathroom to the world. Seriously I can see in like 3 peoples houses.

    Guess that explains why the neighbors don't wave much on the other side of the fence.

    Glad your back.


  • Anonymous

    so funny

  • Holly

    LOL, I needed that. Thanks a bunch for sharing.

  • Deare Diary

    Everytgibg with you is not a disaster, is it? What about your trip and lets see your Christmas tree. Welcome back. You are missed when your gone.

  • Beth

    Josh opened the door to 3 straight-laced Jehovah's Witnesses while I was sitting on the floor in a t-shirt and underwear, changing his brother's diaper. Yeah, I know the horror. So do they.

  • Lulu

    I'm pretty sure you made that poor UPS guy's day. And I'm even more sure that you will be getting your packages with nija like speed.

  • Kameron

    I agree with Sandi...thank God you had undies on! I laughed out loud in my office. People now think I'm crazy! :o)

  • Connie

    Oh Heidi...I have missed you and all my bloggy friends...Thanks for the laugh. Now I can gotta get to bed before I wake my hubby up. Connie

  • Hillary Hull

    Hi Heidi! Yay! A boy! Stephanie Newton gave me a really cute idea for nursery decor - Tiffany blue and chocolate brown... what do you think? I'm sure you have a ton going on this month and I am no hurry for the board... we won't have a house to put it in until March!! But I would love any ideas or ANYTHING as far as decorating a nursery goes! Do you know of any good websites that have decorating ideas? XoXo

  • Bunny Chic Boutique

    LOL ~ it could only happen to you. Please don't tell me that the UPS driver was delivering my package.... I would feel like it was ALL my fault. I have the World's Worst timing ~ always call someone when they're in the Shower, arrive too early or too late, etc.

    Well, I'm so glad that you LOVE the Pony ~ thanks for letting me know it FINALLY arrived safely.

    It'll be interesting to see how "he" reacts the next time he delivers a package. :)

    Bunny Hugs ~


  • Deare Diary

    WHERE ARE YOU? Come back!!!!!!

  • Heidi Zawisza

    Judy, I PROMISE to return.......I have just been in FL visiting with Friends since Saturday, but we are getting ready to leave now!!! I WILL return to blog world!!! ha!ha!
    Thanks for missin' me though!!

  • Deare Diary

    YEA! We miss our "sista"! We are having Heidi Blog withdrawals.
    Sista Judy

  • Ivette Falcon

    I love the fact that you weren't so much horrified at answering the door without pants as you were horrified to be seen with the socks and shoes on - quite a fashion statement!! That's our Heidi!! LOL

  • YaYa's Funhouse

    oh where, oh where has our Heidi gone? oh where, oh where could she be be??? We miss you.

  • Sandi Hixson

    oh TELL us you will be back.......but we are seeing a ...ummmm....should we say "pattern" here??? uh huh....yeah, that's right.....a have found a new LOVE...and it's name is FACEBOOK or whatever......while you leave those of us here in blogland just waiting for another disastrous event in your life, so we can use it like....a PILL...yeah, a PILL........a HAPPY PILL.........and you are depriving us............THAT"S right.......i know what is going on..........sigh

  • Tater

    So funny. I ran across this randomly and it hits so close to home. I am a total closet nudist, even more so after having a baby (skin is water proof and wipe-able, fabric is not). I just KNOW I am going to answer the door one day with my nursing bra flapping open.

  • Deare Diary

    I had to make some changes....go check out the The "Deare" Diary

  • Stacie

    I laughed all over again...but I am SO glad I was able to hear this story in person!! LOVED our time together!

  • chickadee@afamiliarpath

    that's the funniest thing i've ever read!

  • Nishant

    you will be getting your packages with nija like speed

    Work from home India