It's ALL Facebook's fault!!

Okay, as I stated below I have once again "DONE IT". First of all, obviously I have been in a major blogging funk lately and last night I decided to sit down and at least START a post with a few updates. So, I did start one, and saved it to be finished today. BUT then today took a disastrous turn and I will instead blog about that.

Now, I know that most of my "incidents" involve some sort of nudity or nekkidness, and trust me, nobody is more appalled than I am about that small factor. More than that, I don't know why it keeps happening. I mean, seriously, I don't.
Having cleared that up (or at least addressing it), I will tell you what happened today.

This morning when I went to get dressed, I realized that all of my workout clothes were dirty, and needed to be washed (If I am going to be working out that day, that's what I put on in the morning instead of "regular" clothes). So I threw on a pair of jeans and took the clothes down to be washed.

Okay, fast forward to almost time to leave for the gym. I went into the laundry room to get my clothes out of the dryer. I took off my jeans and started to put on my workout pants only to realize that they were still damp. The shirt however was dry, so I put that on and threw the pants back in the dryer. Because I was in a little bit of a hurry I put my socks and tennis shoes on so that all I had to do was put on my pants when they were done. So here I am in the PRIVACY of my kitchen in my socks,tennis shoes, underwear, and my workout shirt. Yeah......You can almost SMELL the disaster coming can't ya????

I sat down to WORK ON MY POST and ended up on facebook getting all wrapped up in my stalking obsession. After about fifteen minutes, the doorbell rang. I peeked around the corner, and saw through the window the UPS truck out front. Without ANY hesitation AT ALL......, I blissfully walked to the door completely oblivious to the fact that I was missing my pants (I mean c'mon, I had SHOES on for cryin' out loud....who wears shoes without pants???....).

You're waiting with holded breath for me to realize that I was pantless before I opened the door aren't you?? Well, be prepared to be disappointed.......or appalled for that matter. I SWUNG open the door and said hello to the driver (still oblivious to no pants....). (Okay, even in HINDSIGHT I still can't recall this poor man even looking at me weird.....I really can't. I mean, I GUESS looking back he may have seemed a little rushed, but I'm not even SURE about that.) I proceeded to take the clipboard from him and scribbled my signature.....still oblivious. I thanked him, and told him to have a nice day, and he left. OH, and don't THINK I wouldn't have waived at a neighbor if I had seen one. I probably would have struck up a conversation too. Of course still being oblivious to my BARE legs that is.

I closed the door and went back to my computer. It was THEN, that my world as I knew it collapsed in an instant of shock and horror. For as I sat down on my COLD leather chair, something went TERRIBLY wrong. Why could my LEGS feel the coolness of the leather so distinctively?????? I froze, and refused to look down. I was trying to wrap my brain around what I had in that moment just realized. When I finally (well, it seemed like a long time anyways...) looked down, I just started screaming......LOUD. My dog jumped off the stairs and started barking like crazy. I scared her to death!! I mean, WHAT kind of self respecting girl opens the door without her pants on??

I have been trying to tell myself that I dreamed this, but the box that was delivered is my constant reminder that OH YEAH, I had a conversation with the UPS guy while wearing nothing on the bottom half of me. (okay, this part might sound quite shallow (if shallowness is even POSSIBLE in this situation), but I wish I would have AT LEAST had my shoes and socks off too!! I mean.......no pants, but don't worry, I had my socks and shoes on!!!????? That's even MORE embarrassing....actually that goes past embarrassing straight to PURE DORK!) The visual is so frightening I can barely think about it.

I am now contemplating moving to another country.....maybe a nudist colony.......I don't know, but what I DO know is that I NEED HELP!! What in the WORLD is wrong with me?? Oh, and here's the kicker........me and UPS man are going to be seeing a lot (no pun intended) of eachother this month. I have been doing ALL of my shopping online, and will probably be having stuff delivered daily...........OMG, just writing that I am turning several shades of red! Somebody HELP ME!!!!